I loved Wicked.

I never saw the broadway show, but I heard good things and when Part 1 came out, I was all in. I loved it, the music, the story, the everything. Grande and Erivo were just RIDICULOUS so freaking good. I must have listened to that soundtrack a dozen times since.

So when For Good came out, I was all in again. I went into that theater and settled in for a good time. And I was bored as hell. I can’t remember any of the music, the plot didn’t make sense, and what the ever loving heck was that ending?

Well, that was a disappointment. But whatever, it’s just a movie.

But as I drove home (the nearest theater to me is an hour away – I live in a very small town lol) I got to thinking. I could totally have fixed that movie. In fact, I’m gonna.

NOTE: This is just me fooling around. I get that this is a classic show for a reason, and I’m not gonna claim to be better than Winnie Holzman (who wrote the book for the show) or Gregory Maguire, who wrote the original novel the show was based on. I never saw the show, I never read the book. All I’ve got to go on here is the movie adaption.

NOTE NUMBER TWO: Spoilers, y’all. So many spoilers.

My Gripes

First, I’d like to point out a couple of things that really got my goat about this movie before I go about fixing it.

Glinda’s Privilege

Glinda is the epitome of white privilege. I’m not going to try to make this all about race because I don’t have the lived experience to comment on it. But let’s be real: Glinda is pretty, popular, rich, and is handed everything she could ever want if she only toes the line with the system – which she is happy to do with zero complaint.

And she never, not once, stands up to authority. She never uses her position of power to help Elphaba. In fact she just feels sad because “money doesn’t buy happiness” and she’s been taught to smile no matter what. As if she ever had much to frown about!

And in the end, after Elphaba leaves Oz, she finally does the one little thing she was supposed to do from the beginning and gets all the credit and glory for the work Elphaba did throughout the movie.

This felt gross to me.

The Plot Doesn’t Make sense

I get that we’re basically in fanfiction mode now: We’re telling a story around the existing story of The Wizard of Oz. We’re circling Dorothy without ever actually showing her because of copyright laws.

But they somehow managed to do it so awkwardly that none of it made any sense. The plot points that should drive the plot forward… we had to skip them all! Because instead of creating a new story, they just filled in the blanks around a different story and tried to force it to be something else.

But it could have worked. It didn’t have to be this way.

Let’s get into it. I’m going to tell the story in a different way. Some things will be the same, but most won’t.

I Fixed Wicked For Good

We begin with Elphaba sabotaging the yellow brick road. She’s trying to tell the world how evil the Wizard is, but she’s just making her own reputation worse. Madam Morrible’s propaganda is very effective.

Glinda and Fiyero aren’t actually together anymore. They’re faking this relationship in order to fly under the radar. They’re both on Elphie’s side, but they can’t find her and don’t know how to help her. Fiyero has joined the Gale Force in order to sabotoge them while also using their resources to find Elphie so he can help her.

We move up “Girl in a Bubble” to much earlier in the movie, so Glinda can have her character turning point. Glinda confronts her privilege in act one and choses to begin using her position to dig up dirt on the Wizard and Morrible. She also begins working to get a stronger and more substantial political foothold.

We need to spend more time with Nessa and develop her wicked witch spiral much more. Her bad reputation is more to do with her association with Elphie than anything. She’s grieving the loss of her father, she misses her sister, and she’s taken the governor’s seat much too young. She’s had to give up other life dreams to take on this responsibility, but she faces it head on. She gets much more pushback than usual because of her sister’s “evilness.” The population begins to turn on her and claim she’s a witch as well.

Bok is not a spineless little turd who leaves Nessa to chase after the pretty Glinda who he barely knows and who is in a “relationship” already. He may have started out with a crush on Glinda at school, and maybe he only asked Nessa to the dance because Glinda told him to. But at that dance, he discovered how awesome Nessa is. He found something real. He and Nessa are together and happy. He’s trying to help support her, but the people have turned on her. She is frustrated, angry, and struggling.

Elphaba encounters the animals fleeing Oz and sings “No Place Like Home.” The animals choose to flee, but the cowardly lion stays back and confronts Elphaba. He’s afraid of her, but she talks to him. She apologizes for scaring him as a cub, and explains she was trying to save him. She convinces him to stay and fight. To be brave. It’s a positive outlook.

Elphaba meets up with Glinda just before her wedding with Fiyero (which is a publicity stunt, this is still fake). It’s a joyful and dramatic reunion, and Glinda explains that her romance is fake and the wedding is a publicity stunt. She doesn’t know how to get out of it without ruining her position.

Glinda has already discovered the imprisoned animals in the Wizard’s chambers during her sleuthing. Glinda and Elphaba make a plan together to distract the Wizard and sing “Wonderful.” Elphaba then releases the animals on purpose to disrupt the wedding, which gets both Glinda and Fiyero out of it without damaging their reputations (and also releases the animals! Two birds with one stone.)

But Fiyero chooses to go with Elphaba afterward because he’s in love with her and can’t stay away from her anymore. This effectively leaves Glinda to manage Morrible and the Wizard on her own. This is still somewhat of a betrayal because he has been helping Glinda all this time, and now he’s not. But it’s not a breakup and no romantic betrayal has happened.

Elphaba and Fiyero sing “As Long as You’re Mine.” Loved that scene, don’t change a thing.

Glinda discovers the Wizard’s green bottles and recognizes it matches the one Elphie slept with under her pillow. She makes the connection that he is Elphie’s father.

Morrible asks Glinda how to get Elphie to come to her. Glinda gives a vague answer about striking what she cares about. Morrible decides to go after Elphie’s sister, Nessa, with a tornado. Dorothy arrives in Oz. Glinda gives her the silver shoes and sends her to Oz. She’s got a plan.

Nessa is killed. The Wicked Witch of the East is dead. Bok is heartbroken. Elphie is heartbroken and has an actual emotional response. Glinda feels guilty because she led Morrible to take this step. Glinda and Elphie have that slap fight over Glinda’s guilt and the fact that she gave away the shoes (that was easily the best part of the movie).

The Gale Force comes to take Elphie as Morrible planned. Fiyero gets taken instead, and Elphie turns him into the Scarecrow while singing “No Good Deed.” She saves him. She knows he’s saved. She assures him that the spell is absolutely reversible, but it’s given her an idea, which coincides with Glinda’s idea about Dorothy.

Glinda goes back to Morrible and convinces her to use Dorothy to kill Elphaba.

Elphaba recruits Bok and turns him into the sad Tin Man (also reversible). He’s sad because his girlfriend died. He’s not angry or violent. He’s the frickin Tin Man! She also recruits the Lion. Elphie sends these three to lead Dorothy to go on her quest to “kill” Elphaba in the right way.

Glinda arrives at Kiamo Ko and they sing “For Good.” Except… except that song needs to be different. Because yes, Elphaba changed Glinda. Glinda is a better person because of her friendship with Elphie. But Glinda did not change Elphie. She did not make her a better person. She gave her love and acceptance and support, things Elphie never had. The song needs to focus on that instead of claiming Glinda made Elphie a better person, too.

Dorothy arrives at Kiamo Ko, splashes water on Elphie, and Elphie “melts.” She’s “dead” now.

Glinda takes Elphie’s green bottle and the news of Elphie’s “death” back to the wizard. She uses his guilt to get him to betray Morrible, publicly clear Elphie’s name, and then leave Oz. Glinda then sends Dorothy home with the magic shoes.

With the Wizard gone and the flying monkeys on her side, Elphie goes after Morrible. This is a climactic scene. Witch fight! The good gal wins, and Morrible is imprisoned.

Elphaba doesn’t have to leave her home (which she sang an entire song about) and she and Glinda are friends forever. They spend the rest of their lives working on animal welfare and rights.

Bok and Fiyero get their spells reversed. Bok thanks his friends for helping him get justice for Nessa, then leaves to have his own adventures with his new friend the Lion. Fiyero and Elphaba live happily ever after in Fiyero’s royal castle.

The end.

So what do you think? Do you like my happier fanfiction of a fanfiction of a fanfiction? I do. This is how it goes in my head now.🫶